I’m dedicating this post to my children and boyfriend. Readers must be aware that even though I don’t mention my kids or boyfriend in all the posts my blog is very much about and for them. They have seen every single one of my posts, Rayne is an administrator on this blog and we chat daily about the blog and about everything else too. Since I moved to London I’ve made sure I’m on every single chatting / social media forum available, because they are. And that way I sometimes learn things about them that I wouldn’t know otherwise. I wake up half an hour earlier than I need to every morning so that I can watch their snap chats while drinking my coffee and waking up. It’s the best and makes me feel like I am with them catching up on all their news!
OK, so a bit about my fave four:
Rayne – 23 – Beautiful (inside and out), funny, witty, creative, kind, extremely interested in hair, clothes and beauty and always makes sure she is impeccably turned out, yet she has no problem with snap chatting late at night with her hair up in a bobble, completely devoid of all make-up (even though she has huge issues with her eye-bags). Rayne is so completely different to me and to be honest I don’t understand her absolute passion and commitment to make-up but I admire her dedication to it very much.
After Rayne returned from au pairing in Holland she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do but she did know that she would need to find enough money to keep her fashion and beauty addiction fed so she started her own on-line jewellery store. She ran the on-line store for 3 years and it was hugely successful, even attracting a partner who bought into the business. Rayne learnt a lot of skills that no diploma or degree could have given her. Now she works for a jewellery design company as their social media manager. Her true passion however, is her blog where she reviews make-up, hair products and events that she has been invited to. http://www.makeitraynex.com Join Rayne on snap chat as well for some laughs – she is funny!!! I am so very proud to be her mother. She has taught me that we don’t all need to agree on what we like and don’t like, but rather to be passionate about what it is you DO love.
Rayne is also a devoted girlfriend to her awesome boyfriend Marius. She absolutely adores him and that too makes me proud. Because he is not a metro-male, he is a regter egter Afrikaaner male who wants to braai, watch rugby and drink beer with his mates. And sometimes she lets him!
Their relationship is based on trust and both having separate interests and allowing each other the space to grow. I wish them all the happiness in the world and an abundance of children – but not yet – Mom has to do London fully first!
Khaya – 19 – my hippy child – how do such very different kids come from the same parents is beyond me. Khaya was named after the Bob Marley album of the same name and when they were young I would always sing that song to both of them … ‘Got to have Khaya now for the Rayne is falling’ … I played whale and dolphin music to Khaya in my stomach when pregnant with her and wrote exams when I was 8 months pregnant. Needless to say academically she is my brightest child. That is really not something that I am bragging about, I just wonder if the whale music and me studying had something to do with it. 😉 One way that Khaya and Rayne are similar is that neither of them are afraid of hard work. They both worked from an early age to have the things they wanted (not needed). Best advice I can give parents – do NOT give
your kids everything they want, because if they want something badly enough they will make a plan. Rayne babysat from an early age and Khaya waitressed. I also kept reminding them that mom was going to fly the coop as soon as I could so they musn’t rely on me being around for anything except emotional support. I sometimes think its the parents who don’t want to let their kids go and not the other way around. Kids stick around because it’s convenient but the parents are scared to let go as they will miss them and fear being alone and never seeing them. Anyway, I am generalising but also making statements based on things I’ve observed over the years.
Khaya wanted to have a gap year this year because Matric was so challenging so she was just going to au pair and waitress and chill – a lot! But because of her charismatic, bubbly personality, she was head-hunted (at 18!!!) to become the field marketer for CAT phones in the Western Cape. This chick earns a shit hot salary and is loved by all who work with her. How proud must I be right now??? Right! Khaya is also funny, with the biggest heart, would bend over backwards for the people she loves, loves her family, loves animals and loves the environment. Khaya recently started a blog too called http://www.wastelessafrica.wordpress.com. Follow her there and on Insta!
Nicholas – 13 3/4 – is handsome, and kind and sensitive and also, SO funny. Not sure where they get it but they all have wit in abundance!!! Nicholas has a healthy sense of self-preservation – he loves sport but he doesn’t want to be in the A-team because he understands the total dedication one needs to remain at the top and he knows
himself well enough not to aspire to that. He has also seen how many of his friends have been concussed by having to face Paarl Boys High boys!!! He wants to enjoy life. He loves his close-knit group of friends. He can spend lots of time on his own but also loves company. At the moment, mom is not high on his list of favourite people. I’m embarrassing. Although, even though I’m embarrassing I know for a fact that all his friends think that I’m the cool mom. I know as he has told me. Not sure that still stands but it was like that pretty much all through Primary School. Now maybe I’m embarrassing because I’m still cool? I’m definitely different. Don’t think any of his friends mom’s are in London at present. 😉
Nicholas was my only child who grew up completely with me – he was always with me until he went to boarding school and when he was little we had the most amazing mother/son relationship. He adored me and I him. Life was stressful but nothing beats going to the beach or the zoo through the eyes of a four year old. (Until they get tired or hungry).
His level of interaction with his sisters is virtually non-existent at the moment because he is a boy and verbal communication to make a plan is not high on his agenda. But they still manage to get together once a month and catch up.
And in December they will all be together for two weeks because they are all coming to visit me in London!!! Eeeeeeeek. That is this year’s birthday and Christmas presents from me to them!
I’d like to think that by giving my children wings and not restricting them emotionally I have grown better children. I know that I am parenting as a direct result of my upbringing and what I wish I had. That doesn’t always work. But I think in my case it has. I could not ask for better progeny. Truly blessed I am!!
Daniel -27 (the boyfriend/toyboy)- Daniel and I met at a trance party (outdoor festival) 4 years ago and the less said about that the better (mainly because the meeting is hazy at best). Apparently though we did swop numbers and here we are today to tell the tale. Dan is 17 years younger than me. Now I’m going to bring in that whole Age is But a Number thing because seriously it is. He is the most laid back, gentle, chilled person I know. He likes to party but it needs to be at home. He likes to live vicariously through me which is why me being over here and him being back in South Africa is working so well. He has also recently just started his own business which is doing well but requires him to work long hours and therefore would not be conducive to a good relationship if I was there. He did 18 months in London 2 years ago so we have done this before. And we are good at it. At the moment it works for us. I love having the freedom to do what I want when I want (within reason) yet still having someone ‘to go home to’ and tell all about it. With FaceTime, Skype etc. its all so easy. Obviously there is no physical element but with that also comes the advantage of no smelly farts, top off the toothpaste, toilet seat up, etc. to have to deal with. Yup, its pretty much a sweet deal from where I’m sitting. Daniel is also coming in December!!!